L.

i can't stop laughing at this star wars forecast link z put up on twitter. philly very well may look like that by monday. apparently we're expecting some severe snow dumping from the sky this weekend.

i dragged nearly 50 lbs of laundry out today to be washed. my back hates me. while at the laundromat a woman was cleaning something like 20 blankets. lots of them were little throw blankets or extra bed blankets. woven ones, crocheted, knitted, etc... all in lovely colors. it got me thinking about the blanket i made and knowing i can't easily throw it in the washing machine because it is 100% wool, which should be hand washed and laid flat to dry, or better yet - dry cleaned. and then i wondered whether or not i'm being too picky about the materials i use to crochet with. i made an afghan from acrylic yarn last year and hated the touch of it, but it is very soft. i know that acrylic yarns can be easily washed and even blends are better made so the acrylic doesn't feel so... fake, for lack of a better term. i'm frustrated by seeing acrylic yarns listed as "natural" in craft stores because HELLO - it's a SYNTHETIC! it may be vegan friendly, but natural? i've always felt that real materials like solid cotton, wool, alpaca, etc... are so much nicer. but now i'm wondering if i'm being too much of a snob about it. yes there are decent acrylic blends out there, but there's something so satisfying about using real natural material. am i being too picky about this? yet the acrylics and blends are cheaper, softer, easier to clean. anyone have thoughts on this?

i think i'm done with the xmas shopping. i was up and running all manner of errands yesterday. to "relax" i came home and wrapped gifts. though i still have to make presents for my sister and her husband, my parents, and z's family. i'm making them all batches of ice cream for presents because i'm so low on funds for buying proper things this year. though the home made afghan i made for my parents last year was quite a hit so i'm sure they'll be just as fine with the ice cream. i know my sis and her hub will like it and i'm 1000% certain it will be a hit with z's family.

z is now in that goofy state where he constantly threatens to shake his stocking and his presents under the tree. he doesn't do it so much as to figure out what he's got, but rather just to hear me yell at him. he's constantly do it until i've glared at him or snapped at him.



i took more xmasy photos last night, though many are blurry, but i kinda think they work better that way.
( more bokeh this way )

i'm shirking off chores again today. despite the laundry. despite the grocery shopping. i'm going to the 'burbs to hang out with friends for Food Night because it's been way too long since i've been. there's always tomorrow for chores.

(Ask me something, if you please.)

rolling a blunt, ©josh dutra. (my neighbor!)

my mind is clear more often than not. what excitement! a little less than a month and a half, i'm gonna have a home. filled with artists and great people, a good support system finally. whatever happens is good, even the bad. because im retaining more and im able to control my anxiety, i can pick me up and understand reality [thats the hardest thing]. at the end of my nights i catch myself, and my cheeks hurt from smiling.

recommend a beautiful movie

Hey Guys! If you haven't ordered a holiday card from my webstore yet, there's still time! I'll also do New Year's cards!





Here is a new comic for you:

you know those days that start off being rather annoying and bad, but end up being fairly good? today was like that.

after the wretched morning and thinking of all the places i wanted to run errands at, i stopped. i still wanted to go outside and take my long walk. z said it didn't feel too bad out, so i shirked off the usual monday shopping chores and went for a walk. 7- ish miles today and being out in the cold with my music felt incredibly therapeutic. at first i thought i would be too cold, but got used to the chill. the more i walked, the warmer i became. until a certain point past the row stands along the river. for some reason the heat of the city completely disappeared and the temperature felt 5 degrees cooler rather drastically. when i got home i was quite frigid and felt my limbs thawing out. but i am glad i went out. it cleared my head and i didn't feel so terribly cooped up anymore.

tonight i made a decent dinner and thought of other meals to make - a mental list running in my head. though part of me says i should go shopping tomorrow to get the necessary weekly groceries the other part of me is looking at the warmer forecast and saying "yes! i can go out again tomorrow too!"

after dinner we snuggled up on the sofa and watch quantum of solace. (z keeps ordering blu rays on sale and it seems we have a new one coming each week now.) though i wasn't too impressed with the film in the theater, i was glad to watch it again and like it much better now. i'm actually looking forward to the last in the trilogy and am tempted to hop over to the used bookstore to scour the ian fleming collection.

for all my top gear friends on the flist.
z found this on twitter and i SO WANT ONE. how awesome is a stig tree topper?!

we decorated the tree saturday night. it's so light i was able to carry it up the stairs. so much smaller this year from years past, but that's a good thing. i need to definitely buy new tree lights though because ours are so faded that the green and blue look like the same color. i wish there were decent twinkling led lights, but i've not found any so far. there are led strings that have a few twinkling lights - like only 8 or 12 bulbs, which i don't get at all - but i want the whole string to twinkle like regular old lights do. to my knowledge after several searching online, such lights aren't in existence yet.

sunday was nothing but rain and finally stopping when z and i had to go out for his company xmas party. it was more tolerable this year than last. i so should not have had 3 glasses of wine though. i'm not hungover, but i rather hate the sluggish feeling i get now the day after i've had alcohol. usually having one drink is fine, but anything more and i'm a bit bleh feeling. and i SO CALLED what the vegetarian option would be for dinner. in the car on the way to the restaurant i said the veggie option would be pasta with broccoli. it always is at places like this that normally serve meat and don't really know what to do for vegetarians so they throw together the easiest options - pasta and broccoli. what did i have for dinner? a broccoli noodle casserole. BANG! so called that. it was a decent casserole, i'll give it that. but restaurants are so utterly predictable about stuff like that.

today has not started off well. we were woke up at 7 am by some sort of construction going on downstairs the building next to ours. lots of banging and knocking, which was very annoying. i felt bad for z having to go to work, knowing the construction workers woke him up much earlier. the coffee was burnt from leaving my percolator on the stove too long and splattered all over the place. it's decent outside, but i should run errands and i want to run, but feel very bleh from the alcohol last night. boo today.

time does what you let it, how you spend it, so now things are going too fast and i no longer have time to process my steps or progress. the days are melting into one another and each moment that passes is a step and i can inch on through, i hope i hope. i want to be well.

nighttime, c41 b&w. 4s hand held shutter, camera on tripod. providence. (it doesn't feel like)dec09

the time: 12:24am
the place: super walmart
z calls me (i'm at home), after searching the store and finding items to choose for the random gift exchange for his company xmas party tomorrow night.

him: ok. so it's down to star trek on dvd. or a snuggie.
me: whoa!
him: yeah.
me: ok, both are fantastic. the movie because it's good, the snuggie because it's so tacky, that makes it good. that's awful! it would be great for anyone at the shop!
him: i know!

ugh. i can't believe the xmas party for the shop is tomorrow. i need to figure out what to wear...

i see us like this.

mmm fluffy pancakes this morning with coffee.

i went out and found a nice little tree. it's so much smaller than what we've had in the past, but i think that's why we like it the most. it's just barely z's heigh (6 feet) and rather thin. the apartment now smells all pine fresh. will decorate soon.

*z, just now out of the shower and trying to type on my keyboard. he also tried this just before his shower*

him- *leaning over me, trying to type*
me - nooooo!
him - but they need to know about.....
me - later!
him - *mumbling* i don't believe you.



ANNOUNCEMENT: zombo.com. enjoy.
the most ridiculous site that has stayed exactly as it is since its creation in 1996.
sometimes we'll sneak onto each other's computers and "zombo" the homepage.

and yes i'm doing this now just to spite him. :p

woke up absurdly early this morning, due to the stupid neighbors, who i completely blame. tossed and turned and got out of bed just after z left for work. though i should be tired now, for some reason i'm fidgety and i think it's because i've been cooped indoors so many days. i've got cabin fever now and going batty. i want to go outside, preferably without the chance of freezing off an appendage. the bitter cold today kept me from going out, but i'm determined tomorrow. tomorrow, i'm going to find a christmas tree. we always get a real tree and our goal is to get something small this year. we've gotten rather large ones for the past 2 years and decided we're quite tired of those huge trees, considering we've such a small apartment.


( i keep taking photos of biji )

NO ONE LIKES SNOWFLAKE COOKIES!



Seriously 76 email notifications. Fuck off!

she's taken over the winter pillow i made now.

Friends, do you have any favorite Swedish indie pop bands you could share with me? Or just indie pop in general. I've been wanting to listen to something fun lately. You don't have to upload links (though that would be nice) as I'm pretty sure I can find them. Please help me!