L.

Ok, so I try not provide commentary on my comics, but this is a tricky one, because although I did read Twilight (and thought is was so vapid that I don't think I can go through the other 3 in the "saga"), and I did buy a flowery candy bar while on the rag, and I did actually have that thought about kissing Edward Cullen, it was all in the most sarcastic way possible. That's all I really have to say in my defense.

Going to NYC tomorrow for 2 days with three of my best friends and my potential new best friend. Anybody want to hang out? Are there any good shows? Vegan food? Down for anything, up for everything.

Dear readers,

I am sorry to have neglected my internet duties for so long. This comic is about how I have been suffering from writer's block for the last few months, which finally broke this weekend and I got a good handful of strips drawn, and did some work on longer projects that have been stalled. I hope to increase my posting frequency, so let's consider this the beginning of a renewed dedication to blogging!

Yours truly,
Lizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Isaac and I had a good weekend. Friday was the Artwalk and since we hadn't been in quite awhile we stopped by. It was so so packed! I didn't find anything but a cute cake keychain. Everyone went to Roosevelt's where we were lucky enough to find a table. I had a cup of Woodchuck, the only beer I can stand. Later on we went over to Vanessa's and stayed till two in the morning.

On Saturday Isaac and I had pancakes. Him...pumpkins and I...pecan buttermilk. Then we went to the library and checked out books on how to survive an alien invasion, forgotten cocktails, crafting, typography, poetry, Japanese patterns, and a Kobe Abe novel. Success! I'm kind of surprised how many good books are local library buys. I hadn't gone in a very long time. Then he went off to close at work. I went to visit him for his lunch and stayed a couple of hours reading magazines and taking lame pictures on Photobooth. I love being around him while he works!

( + )

A couple of days ago I found out I have surpassed my yearly goal of reading 52 books! 56 so far! I didn't think I was going to make it this year because of starting school but somehow I did. Does anyone still do this 52 books a year thing? How many have you read so far? Lately:

What I Was by Meg Rosoff - Most amazing, brilliant, beautiful, every single good word rolled into one imaginary non-existent word that doesn't exist but should so as to describe this lovely book.

Persepolis and Persepolis 2 by Marjane Satrapi - Wonderful, can't believe I took so long to read them.

One Hundred and Forty Five Stories in a Small Box by Deb Olin Unferth, Sarah Manguso + Dave Eggers - A lot of hit or miss with me but I really didn't like Deb Olin Unferth's stories.

The Entomological Tales of Augustus T. Percival: Petronella Saves Nearly Everyone by Dene Low - Childrens book I picked up because of the pretty illustration on the cover. It seemed like it would be a cute story but I found it disappointing.

Sometimes My Heart Pushes My Ribs by Ellen Kennedy - One of the most awful, poorly written, no-point books I've ever read. It's supposed to be a book of poems.

Lastly, check this book out. Vintage Spirits and Forgotten Cocktails: From the Alamagoozlum to the Zombie 100 Rediscovered Recipes and the Stories Behind Them. Recipes for vintage cocktails from the 1800s to the 1940s, super awesome! We, Isaac's friends and us, are planning a small cocktail party to make some of these. Can't wait!

Ava Jean Pecoraro 15 months

is when i get to see my niece,she has grown up a lot in 8 months

i want to visit islands. different bodies of water. i want retreat. i want white tunics and bare feet. i want forests. i want to stomp through sludge and have mud cake between the laces of my boots. i want desert. i want to be be covered in a layer of red dust. canyons and cacti and boulders and lizards and buzzards. i have a truck. i keep pushing away friends. my imagination is my cocoon.

mom says, "Dad and I didn't drink for two days and only ate veggies... but tonight your dad has already had a beer and a glass of vino and is making lamb."

i want to learn how to make a good soup, a good stew. i have all this time and i should do the things that i want to do.

the raven stops at my window and stares. he eats his worm in front of me and i realize that you're never really alone, that it's never truly quiet.

Today has been exactly one year since I have not been with Dustin.
I'm amazed at how much I have changed since that fateful day.
I can say that it is for the better.

Just recently I ran into Dustin and his son and fiance. It was at Red Robin. And although I recognized his car, I kept telling myself it wasn't him, all the while having an extremely bad feeling about it all.

As they went to seat me and Robert, I saw his son. He had changed so much since I last saw him. I didn't even recognize little Aidan. I saw the back of what looked like Dustin's head, and a girl facing me with bleach blonde hair and stunning eyes. I knew immediately it was Amy, the fiance. The girl that Dustin had an affair with when him and I were together.

The irony of all this is that just that morning, I was telling my mom I wonder what I would do if I ever came face to face with Dustin. I told her although I would want to rip him apart, I would quietly walk away.

And I did just that. A year ago, I don't even know what I would have done. But that day, I did what I said, and said what I meant. At first, I felt so angry upset and confused. But Robert really helped me through the situation. He is such a great person. He is so giving, and supportive. He really did help me through that night.

So as I mark and remember this day exactly one year ago, I remember the person I have become in spite of all this. I am a million times better off and new person because of it.

I am very thankful for the support of family and friends I have to get me through my hardships. I am truly ready to be New Again.

( whole wheat ginger buttermilk pancakes recipe )

( struesel coffee cake recipe )

Some of you may remember my mention of the Olive Edition books put out by Harper Perennial which I really really adore. I was glad to find out a couple of days ago that today three new editions are being released. Run to your bookstore!

I have to keep everything to myself because there is not one person I can talk to. I can write in here or on Twitter but if/when he sees it he'll get angry instantly. In the end, nothing matters because he will never want to try and see how it would be living in San Francisco. I will just follow him anywhere he goes. Never mind my education or my lack of friends or the fact that I did stay here and try for him but he is unwilling to do it for me. Seriously never mind it at all because I know that I could never leave without him. That's just the type of person I am. Weak. This all started because he asked me how my online classes were going and honestly they are going horribly because I hate them so much. I feel like I'm not learning anything. I want to be in class. I want to make friends. I want to go to that school. I want to live in San Francisco because I love it and the people. Because hanging out with Josh and Ashley was the first time I felt like I belonged with someone and had fun and talked. He knows this yet he won't go. We talked about it tonight. I attempted to ask him again if he would please just go and try it for a semester. I cried so hard. My heart hurt so bad. But every time is "No. No, I don't want to go there." So what am I going to do? These online classes are not working out. I feel like I should just drop everything and find a major that I can do here or where ever he ends up getting a job after he graduates. This is what I do because I love him.

( + )

I hate weekends. Especially weekends when Isaac isn't here which is rare but still. It just makes me remember how I don't have any friends. I have no one. I can't remember the last time I had a real friend. I truly think if I had a friend I wouldn't be so depressed, so miserable. And my relationship with Isaac would be better. Being like this with him isn't healthy but it's the only way I know how to be. Since middle school I've never had friends, just boyfriends. Us together constantly and always. I want to be able to have someone to hang out with when I don't feel up to going out to a loud bar to drink with Isaac and his friends. I want him to be able to go out with them by himself and me be okay with it because I have someone to spend time with too. I'm really grateful for his friends, for them accepting me into their circle and being kind and welcoming to me. I really like them, very much. But your boyfriend's friends are never really your friends because once you are not with that person anymore, their friends are gone too. Why is it like this for me? Why is it so hard to make a friend? All I want is someone to shop with, someone to complain about boyfriends with, someone to go to a book-store or coffee shop with, someone to do nothing with.

Hugo and Chelsea and Geraldi, were they ever really my friends? Out of all of them Hugo was most like one. But they are never there for me when I need them. I haven't heard from Geraldi in maybe six months or more. Hugo never answers. I've called and text Chelsea so many times these past months and not once has she answered or gotten back to me. What's up with that? Does that mean she, for some reason unknown to me, doesn't want to be my friend anymore? I don't know. Why am I twenty-two and completely friendless?

I want to move to a lighthouse


take long walks with my pony


have a bath in the wilderness


and stand by the window feeling slightly melancholic.

La Photocabine

I love these cute internet photo things! I'm wearing two of my newest dresses and my new headband. Anyhow, I've got some wonderful news! Isaac and I just bought plane tickets to Chicago from 9 January to 22 January! We are going to visit his friends, Matt + Marisol + their babies, who live there. I'm very excited but I don't know how I'm going to survive in such cold weather. Anyone have any advice on where to eat and shop?